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15 Sep 2018

How to Divorce a Narcissist

Divorce is never an easy choice. Even bad marriages were once good, and it can be difficult to let go of the memory of when things were going well, and the belief that therelationship may somehow improve again.

Having said that, your decision about to divorce should never be contingent on whether you fear an aggressive or dangerous reaction from your spouse.

The reason we at Raleigh Law Center have decided to dedicate an entire blog post to the issue of fearing your spouse’s reaction is that we have seen, over and over again, that separating your life from problematic people is not only difficult and complex, it’s also potentially dangerous, and if you don’t get the help you need, it’s often far more harmful — financially, emotionally, and physically — than it should ever be.
Which brings us to the issue of how exactly do you go about initiating and completing a divorce from a narcissistic personality?

What is a Narcissist?

A lot of people have heard the word narcissist, but a narcissistic personality can be hard to pin down. As divorce lawyers, the important aspect for us in helping our clients deal with a narcissist is that narcissists often do not care about other people’s suffering, they cannot accept any criticism or threat to their power, and they will use almost any tactic — unethical, immoral, or deceptive — to get what they want.

Does any of that sound familiar?

We have had clients who tell us chilling stories about elaborate lies told by their narcissistic spouses, lies told not just to the spouse, but to kids, extended family, friends, and even the courts. Narcissists will stay with a lie even in the face of overwhelming evidence against them.

Dealing with this kind of morally ungrounded person can be infuriating, disheartening, and disillusioning. You can end up feeling like there is no way to win, no way to overcome the pain and suffering they are inflicting on you, your children, and your family.

We are here to tell you that none of this is true. With the right help, the right understanding, and the right tools, you can fight back and win against a narcissist. And at Raleigh Law Center, we are experienced with this type of spouse, and fully committed to helping you feel empowered, protected, and supported at the level you need to be in order to escape the harmful effects of being married to a narcissist.

You Need Allies to Fight a Narcissist

One of the most damaging techniques narcissists use is to isolate their victim, cut them off from friends and family, and leave the victim more vulnerable to lies, threats, and bullying. Narcissists make you feel in danger and afraid to seek help. This is exactly why you need powerful allies when you decide enough is enough.

Our long-running experience helping people break away from narcissistic spouses has shown us how important it is to have a full set of tools ready to be used to fight back against a narcissist’s unethical weapons. We will not hesitate to apply for restraining orders against narcissistic spouses. We will not hesitate to gather evidence of exactly how they try to intimidate or threaten you. We will not back down against spouses who use physical threats or intimidation against you.

The role of an attorney is always to seek what’s best for a client. That begins with advising you on what you’re dealing with and making sure you use every single means available to protect yourself as you go through the process of divorcing a difficult spouse.
Why Use Raleigh Law Center for Dealing with Narcissistic Spouse?

At Raleigh Law Center, we truly care about our clients. We are not a high-volume, churn-and-burn law firm that sees thousands of clients and offers them cookie-cutter legal representation. We truly listen, we learn your issues from every vantage point, and we offer specialized advice and consultation that fits your exact situation and needs.

Raleigh Law Center focuses on clients who are going through difficult, high conflict, often damaging divorces. We know how important it is to have excellent, dedicated, and committed representation that will take the time to help you see every single option you have for protecting yourself, your family, and for getting what you deserve. Raleigh Law Center remains committed to you even when the narcissist goes to great lengths to deny you what you deserve.

Call us today to set a time let us demonstrate just how committed we are to your safety, protection, and your rights in a divorce proceeding. Let us prove to you that Raleigh Law Center is the right firm to choose when you’re dealing with someone most people don’t even understand.

Don’t fight a narcissist alone. Raleigh Law Center will help you fight for your family, protecting your rights.

24 Aug 2018

Family Law Specialization Exam Review

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! Program Co-Chairs Paul DeJesse and Evonne Hopkins have assembled North Carolina’s finest Family Law Specialists to provide you with invaluable insights on major topics that every North Carolina family law practitioner encounters. Regardless if you are an aspiring or current Family Law Specialist or just want to brush up on the latest in Family Law, the wide range of topics covered and knowledge gained in connection with this seminar are not to be missed! Register Today!
https://www.ncaj.com/index.cfm

01 Aug 2018

August is National Child Support Awareness Month

 

In 1995, President William Jefferson Clinton established  National Child Support Awareness Month in Proclamation 6814.  This was to recognize the importance of child support programs and the professionals who operate them to ensure children receive the necessary financial support to lead secure and healthy lives.

President Clinton noted in his proclamation, “Providing for our children is one of humanity’s worthiest and most fundamental endeavors. Children are the best part of ourselves – the sum of our past and the promise of our future.”

30 Jul 2018

Three Added Costs for Two Household Families

Article credit to: Our Family Wizard-    https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/3-added-costs-two-household-families

 

Parents and children must contend with many upheavals to their daily routines after a divorce or separation. Of the many adjustments, changes to financial situations often demand the most attention after a split.

As with any change, preparation is key for smoothing the transition. For parents with shared parenting time, that means anticipating the added financial costs incurred while parenting from separate households. This may not be the most enjoyable brainstorming session, but identifying the areas that will require extra funds as you begin your co-parenting routine means you won’t be unpleasantly surprised by mounting expenses.

To get your preparations started, here are 3 common areas that see increased expenditures for co-parents with shared parenting time.

Housing

This is the most obvious example of increased expenditures after a divorce or separation. Maintaining two households, either rented or owned, can double the amount parents previously spent on rent and utilities.

Because this change in expense can be monumental, parents should begin calculating what they can afford as early in their divorce or separation process as possible. Parents may want to consult a financial planner or personal advisor for help when calculating how much they can afford for monthly household expenditures.

While some financial planners do charge for their services, there are many pro bono or low-cost services available to parents with fewer resources to spare. As with all professional services, be sure to research practitioners thoroughly before employing their services.

Decisions about housing after a divorce or separation are more than just financial choices; they’re frequently emotional choices as well. Many parents must debate the pros and cons of leaving their family home for lodging that’s more in their budget. Pre-divorce memories of a child’s early years are precious, and parents may be heartbroken that they’ll no longer be reminded of moments like their child’s first steps just by walking into the living room.

Nevertheless, pursuing long-term financial stability by maintaining households within budget will ultimately benefit children, as well as help soothe parents’ stress levels. If parents do decide to move out of the familial home, they should talk to their children about the decision early and often. Children will be going through many transitions during a divorce and may need extra emotional support with this particular change.

Travel and Changeovers

Not every co-parenting arrangement will produce significantly increased costs in this category, but it should still be a focus for parents who either have regularly scheduled changeovers or must accommodate long-distance travel.

Changeovers

Depending on how changeovers are handled by a family, parents may spend considerable money and time driving children to exchange locations or each other’s homes. If parents have personal vehicles, they’ll need to account for increased fuel usage as well as additional wear-and-tear on their cars.

To lessen the financial impact that this extra travel can incur, parents may want to consider changeovers that incorporate the child’s school schedule. If it actually results in less distance traveled, parents may opt for picking their child up from school on changeover days.

Additionally, depending on where you live, certain school districts may provide bus transportation to both parents’ homes when they share custody. Check with your local school district about the different arrangements available that accommodate two household families.

For situations where picking up a child from school would significantly increase the mileage for one parent, co-parents may want to find meeting places that divide driving responsibilities equally instead. Certain tools, like Meetways, can help families determine halfway points between locations quickly and easily. Utilizing tools such as this one keeps the planning of changeovers neutral and equitable.

Long-Distance Travel

Families that are co-parenting long-distance may not have a 50/50 split in parenting time, but they may still need to account for occasional trips between households.

The key to mitigating the costs associated with long-distance travel is planning well in advance. Last-minute tickets can be significantly more expensive if they’re even available at all, and parents will have fewer departure and arrival times from which to choose. Tickets don’t need to be purchased 6 months in advance, but parents should be keeping an eye on ticket prices in the months leading up to a trip.

For flights, certain services, like Kayak or Hopper, have tools that alert travelers to changes in prices for their selected travel dates and destinations. Though these tools aren’t foolproof, they can help keep parents on top travel planning.

Daily Necessities

Where one set of clothing, toiletries, and toys was adequate for a single-household family, co-parents with shared parenting time have to contend with the need for duplicate sets of all the daily essentials. For quickly growing children, sets of clothing, shoes, and outerwear never last as long as we’d like them to, so it’s vital that parents budget for these expenses.

For certain items, it may be appropriate for parents to share the cost. Big ticket items, like winter jackets or athletic supplies, may not need to be duplicated. Parenting plans should document any expenses that are to be shared between co-parents, including in what proportions, and co-parents should plan together and always provide thorough details for these purchases.

While it may feel financially expedient to simply pack a bag for a child moving between homes, this can have unintended consequences on how the child views their two-household family. Packing up their clothes, toys, and other incidentals to move between houses can make a child feel like they’re visiting, rather than as having a permanent place in the hearts and homes of both parents.

Not packing an entire suitcase is a separate issue from them asking to bring along their favorite stuffed animal or pair of PJs. If they do wish to pack a few of their favorite items, let them! Just make sure that they have those items when they change over to their other parent.

Co-parenting smoothly requires preparation, so parents should think critically about the additional expenses that will pop-up as they transition into parenting from two households. Taking the time to anticipate these expenses may not be the most pleasant task, but being surprised by these additional costs will be worse. To mitigate the effects of these additional expenses for everyone involved, co-parents should work together to create solutions for the entire family. Plan changeovers equitably, keep everyone in the loop about the purchases of big-ticket items and be sure to always keep a careful eye on your budget.

 

25 May 2018

Former Intern of Raleigh Law Center Graduates!

Raleigh Law Center celebrates and congratulates our former intern Samantha Hovaniec on her graduation from UNC School of Law this May.  Samantha worked for us while she was a undergrad at UNC.  She has always been a dedicated young woman, not only with her work with us but in her studies as well.  While she interned with us, she quickly became one the most firm’s valuable assets!  We all know that Samantha has a very bright future ahead of her and wish her well in her new legal career!

22 Feb 2018

Raleigh Law Center Welcomes New Associate Trisha Jacobs.

Raleigh Law Center welcomes our new associate, Trisha Jacobs! Trisha has a rich and extensive litigation background as a former Wake County District Attorney. She is a North Carolina native, Wolfpack fan and a graduate of Campbell University Norman Adrian Wiggins School of Law. Trisha will be practicing family law here at Raleigh Law Center and we all are so happy to have Trisha as a new addition to our RLC family!